Something for the ladies

by Ian Tokelove
Female Urinary Devices for kayakers

My friend Lara has written a quick guide to the various ‘ female urinary devices’ that allow female kayakers to take a pee whilst standing up. Her review had me laughing out loud and rather sympathising with one of the testers. As white water kayakers we often wear full dry suits – which usually come with a ‘male’ relief zip only – hence the need for a device for the ladies.

Here is Lara’s review. Enjoy.

Female Urinary Devices for kayakers

Female urinary devices, tested and reviewed.

“Stand up and take control.” – SheWee (http://www.shewee.com/)

“When nature calls, the answer is…” – Freshette (http://freshette.com/)

“Don’t take life sitting down.” – Go-Girl (http://www.go-girl.com/)

This is not your ordinary self-help article. The three phases above are the taglines for the most overlooked and under appreciated piece of gear on the river – the female urinary device (aka, the FUD). That’s right, boys, this one is not for you.

Women/ladies/chicks/chicas and gals – if you have ever felt frustrated and left out by the other half of the population who could just pee wherever they liked without the faff of the squat, then read on.

The three FUDs of choice at the club are the SheWee, the Freshette, and the Go-Girl and each has the same purpose: to assist in the stand-up pee. With Polly representing Go-Girl, Lucy representing SheWee and me representing Freshette, we have put together the pros and cons to help find the best FUD for you

Freshette (Lara) Go-Girl (Polly) SheWee (Lucy)
Price
  • £20
  • £10
  • £10
Pros
  • Rigid but easy to use and fits like a…..glove?
  • Comes with an extension tube, so you definitely won’t pee on your feet.
  • Very durable!
  • Favoured device of the U.S. army.
  • Made from medical grade silicon so it molds to your body shape.
  • Small, light, flexible and easy to carry.
  • No leaks!
  • Lots of funky colours, so you can express yourself while you pee.
  • Small, discreet and easy to carry.
  • There are accessories! http://tinyurl.com/7atsz79
  • From Polly (an ex-sheWeeer)….’ A slight improvement on relieving yourself in your drysuit’
Cons
  • There is definitely a limit to how many layers you can wear – four. Four is the limit. After that, the risk of peeing yourself increases exponentially.
  • The price is a buzzkill as it has to be shipped in from the states.
  • You can’t buy it in the shops, but it is now available in the UK from http://tinyurl.com/7xuzylv
  • The spout can be a little short when you have a lot of layers to fight through.
  • It’s quite short, so there is potential to wee on your foot.
  • From Polly – 1) Small and rigid – if you don’t get it in exactly the right place, prepare for damp thermals!
  • 2) Could not have been designed by a woman, or even by anyone who has ever had a girlfriend
  • 3) Do not use if desperate, does not cope well with strong flows!
Overall score
  • 8/10 – Great product, shame about the price.
  • 9/10 – Pretty close to perfect! Though I (Lara) have my doubts about the short spout.
  • 5/10 – Polly’s harsh review definitely drags down the number!

In this entirely un-scientific study, the Go-Girl pulls out ahead. It has got the perfect combination of good price and good product. But if none of these have tickled, err…your fancy…these are just the tip of the iceberg in the world of FUDs. There are others in the market with such enticing names as TravelMate, PeeZee, Whizzy, P-Mate, and Whiz Freedom.

All of these FUDs are for more than just kayaking. They are great for festivals, camping and avoiding the odd disgusting public toilet. So the next time you pop a squat by a river or anywhere else, just remember – there are alternatives!


Many thanks to Lara Gilman for allowing me to reprint her words.

 

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